Member-only story
A journal entry from another year
Back before the real break-up
when we were still together, but not so much
I think about all the reasons I am here today without having heard from you in days, without having reached out to find you in days. None of the reasons I’ve come up with have seemed quite right. And then it gets me. Time to adjust and take a step back. Show myself, and you, that I still don’t need you. That I can miss you, and love you, and want to be with you…
but I don’t need you!
I was starting to obsess about where you are, who you’re with, when you’ll call, when you’ll text. Sitting and waiting to hear from you, and then feeling sad and frustrated and jealous when I do finally hear from you.
You are free to do whatever you want,
when you want,
with whomever you want.
Of course I know that!
I agree with that.
It is not my place to expect to know where you are always.
But to get a call or a text to say… “Hey, stopping for a drink with friends. The open house is over. Time for a drink.”
Or…
“Hey, we really are gonna meet up tonight after all. I’ll find you later and let you know how it goes.”
That seems so…
